dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
