1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I look better un-naked...
Quick, to the slutcave!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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