He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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