we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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