Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
