thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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