Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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