watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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