shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The beer is more important than you right now.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
