Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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