I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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