the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
