i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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