do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
