i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
