why didn't you poke me back
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
