Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I will be naked everywhere
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
