I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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