No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
