Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
