She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
