why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
