He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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