ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
