I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
