peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
