Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
