I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
