clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is Oprah even human
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize