he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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