Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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