Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I think I sprained my soul last night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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