He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
