whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
