operation have a gay friend backfired
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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