just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
