it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
