I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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