You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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