In the future we'll all be gay
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
