Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
