Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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