I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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