I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
