u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
