Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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