Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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