You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You need a sexual gate keeper
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
