Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
