it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
