whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize