'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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