so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
