in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just high enough for therapy.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
