I understand Curling. That high.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
