Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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