Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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