I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
