Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
