how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
