I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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