Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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